


things i didn't send

by only_by_the_stars



Series: Tales of the Wild [2]
Category: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild
Genre: Epistolary, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-12 23:01:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28518306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/only_by_the_stars/pseuds/only_by_the_stars
Summary: for perusal: love letters, never sent // a companion piece to Tome of the Wild
Relationships: Link/Mipha (Legend of Zelda)
Series: Tales of the Wild [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110299
Comments: 60
Kudos: 30





	1. letter 1 (Link, to Mipha)

_I don't know where to start. I never know what to say to you anymore. There's things I want to say, so badly it hurts sometimes... no, not sometimes, all the time. I'm too much of a damn coward to be around you, because I'm scared you'll see right through me (you've always been so good at that), but not being around you... it hurts so much. It hurts so damn much I don't know how I'm able to bear it. You have no idea, you really don't. There's no way you could._

_Maybe I should tell you, so you can. I don't know if I'll ever give you this, but it might be good to get it out anyway. Even if you don't read it, the words will be out there in some way. People say to write stuff down in letters even if you don't send them, so I'll give that a try._

_Okay._

_I thought of a way to explain it. I hope I get this right._

_Remember when we went to your family's house on Lake Mikau for a week, back at the beginning of summer? There was that night we sat out on the balcony that our rooms shared because neither one of us could sleep, and we just talked for a while. There was a full moon, and the stars were out, and your scales were shimmering in the light and I just wanted to stare at you. You didn't know that, of course, and I tried not to think about it because I was still trying to pretend I didn't feel this way about you. I'm stupid like that._

_I'm getting sidetracked, though. You asked something that night that I didn't really tell you everything about. You asked me why I quit the fencing team, and I told you about how I couldn't deal with the pressure of keeping up with it alongside school, of trying to be the best at it so I could live up to a father I don't even remember, of trying to make my mother happy by having some kind of connection or legacy from him. That I only joined up because of that, because she and my other dad thought I should have that. And it's all true, I didn't lie to you. You told me it was okay that I didn't remember him much, it was just how people's minds are, especially when they're that young._

_I didn't tell you that I remember the day we met much more clearly than my own biological father. Who'd died barely three months before I ever saw your face, when you and I were only four years old. That my only image of his face comes from old photos Mom keeps around, and meanwhile I can still see the way you smiled at me that day, when I was distraught about my dad's death and being new in town and my stupid skinned knee on the preschool playground, as if it happened yesterday. No one else wanted to bother with me, but you took my hand and brought me to the nurse and you stayed with me and comforted me and you've been by my side ever since._

_And I sure as hell didn't say that I'm okay with that. That I'd rather remember you that well, than someone who, according to Mom, wasn't around that much even before he died. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but I don't know if I care. I just know that every really important memory I have, all the biggest moments in my life, are tied to you somehow, and I don't want it any other way. You're always the first person I think to tell when something happens, good or bad. And I didn't want that to ever change, but now this has happened and I'm so lost. I'm so damn lost. I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. This is something I was never prepared for._

_Which is stupid. I should've known somehow. I should've known it'd be you. Who the hell else could it be? Every time I look at it with the benefit of hindsight, it seems so inevitable that I can't believe I didn't see this coming. I mean, come on... it's you. You're... _

_I can't think of a single word to say. Because there's not just one single word that sums you up so easily. Or that sums up what you are to me, what you mean to me. Even “everything” doesn't really feel like it cuts it. You stole my heart a long time ago, maybe even on that playground, and I'm only just now, like the idiot I am, realizing it. You've made my life better every moment you've been in it. That's why it hurts so much to stay away from you. Even if it's riskier to be close to you, knowing what I do now. Feeling what I do now._

_That night, when we talked? I wanted to kiss you. I want to kiss you every day. Sometimes when you look at me, I can't breathe and my heart pounds so hard it hurts and all I can think is, is this when I lose control of my impulses and kiss her? It takes every bit of strength I have not to pull you close in those moments and do just that. You make my knees weak just with your eyes alone. Which doesn't even cover the effect you have when you smile, when you speak, when you laugh. It feels like drowning, sometimes._

_I wish I could say it to you. I wish I could say these words that are burning inside me every minute I'm awake._

_I love you._

_I love you so damn much._

_I'm sorry that's so messy—I can't even write those words without my hand shaking. I'm pathetic, and hopeless. I can't imagine you'd ever want me back, the way I want you. It holds me back every time I think about confessing. I know I'll have to at some point, that I can't stay away from you forever. And I wouldn't want to. But it doesn't make it any less terrifying to think about saying the words out loud, where you can hear them, or what comes next after I do._

_I don't want to lose you. I hate the thought of these feelings making it so awkward for you that we can't be friends anymore. Even if you don't love me the way I love you, I still want to be friends, and I can't bear the thought of not having that. That's what I'm really afraid of, I think. That's what would really break my heart. It's selfish. I know that. But I can't help it._

_I don't know how to finish this, and I think I'm gonna throw it away anyway. But I still want to write it down again._

_I love you, Mipha._


	2. letter 2 (Mipha, to Link)

_~~To Link~~ _

_~~Dearest Link~~ _

_~~Link:~~ _

_It feels a little silly to write you a letter when you're in the next room; if I didn't know you better, I'd think you might laugh at me for such a thing. But I do know you better, and I can't imagine you'd ever do that. You never laugh at me unless I've said something funny on purpose, even when I do the silliest things. It's one of the reasons I... well, I'm getting ahead of myself._

_Sometimes I... well, you know better than anyone how shy I can be. How hard it is for me sometimes to speak up at all, how I'll usually just stay quiet and leave my thoughts in my own head. But around you, I can relax and say the things I'm thinking. So I try to think of funny things I can say when we're talking, just so I can hear you laugh. You have such a nice laugh, you know. You'd blush so brightly if I said it out loud, but it's true._

_You'd blush at a lot of the things I think about you._

_Like right now, I can't stop thinking about how you looked last night when I came out onto the balcony and found you there. You were barely wearing anything at all, just a pair of shorts, and that always takes my breath away, seeing you like that. ~~Makes me think things that I blush at the thought of writing down.~~ And your hair was loose around your face, shining in the moonlight, with the glow of the stars in your eyes. Some people would think that I'm just fascinated by your hair because I'm a Zora and I don't have any, so it's strange and different to me. But it isn't that at all. I notice it because it's yours. I don't pay as much attention to the things I notice about you when its other people, not in the same way. Everything about you is special to me because its you. _

_And I know you—you're probably wondering what could possibly be so special about yourself that I would feel this way. You always have so many worries on your mind, especially about if you're doing well enough by others, and I hate seeing them tear at you. I want to wrap my arms around you and tell you that it's enough, you're enough. More than enough. I want to tell you exactly how I see you, what fills my heart when I look at you and think about you._

_For starters, you're my very best friend in the whole world. Not just that, but in a way you've always been my knight, too. Always so ready to protect me from anything, no matter what or who. You've never let anyone say a cruel word to me without jumping in recklessly to defend me, without caring if you get hurt or not. And you have, so many times. But even when I've scolded you for it, you still stubbornly regretted nothing, because it was for me. Your kindness and selflessness never waver, and I fear I might cry and stain this page if I think too much about some of my memories of you being exactly those things. You go out of your way to make others happy, and you always listen and remember what people say. Not just me, but I've seen it with our other friends, with your sister, my brother, your parents... so many people. You're like no one else I've ever known, and I wish you could see what I see._

_It's even more than that, though. You put my heart at ease and make me laugh, and when I need you you're always there with your support and caring. Is it any wonder I've_

_I've fallen for you._

_There, I wrote it down. And I won't take it back. I've fallen in love with you, Link. Something about you has always drawn my heart to yours, but now it's different. There's a different feel to it. I wasn't quite sure why, at first, but now I understand. I love you, and there's no going back. Not that I would want to. This feeling, it scares me, but I also cherish it. Loving you feels like the most natural thing in the world, like breathing. I want you more than I've ever wanted anything else in my life so far. I hope it's okay to say that._

_When I hugged you last night, could you feel my heart pounding? If you did, did you realize what it meant? The effect you have on me? Every time we hold each other like that, I wonder what would happen if I were to be brave enough to just kiss you. I spend more time than I should thinking about what your lips must feel like. How you taste. What it would be like to touch each other in new ways. I'm starved for something I've never had before. For you. You make me feel so many things, emotionally and physically, that both frighten and excite me all at the same time._

_Do you remember that time when I slept over at your house, when we were little? We wound up sharing your bed, and I startled you because my feet were cold. I apologized, but you said it was okay, you'd keep me warm, and wrapped your arms around me. I hadn't thought about that in a while, but it was on my mind last night. I thought about how you might react if I invited you back to my room to share my bed again. Not to do anything but sleep (although I wouldn't mind some other things), but all the same, it was almost funny thinking of how red you'd go._

_And tempting. So tempting. I laid awake for so long, wishing you were there to put your arms around me and hold me tight. Even now I crave your warmth, the feel of your skin against my scales. When I leaned my head against your shoulder, I felt you shiver, and I asked if you wanted to go put something more on. You said you were fine, you weren't cold, and I_

_I was secretly happy. I didn't want you to put a shirt on. It's so selfish, but I wanted to keep looking at you like that, when you wouldn't see me doing it. Even now, my hands are trembling just thinking about touching you, about holding and kissing you and whispering in your ear about how much I love you. How much I want you. How much I need you. And if you said you felt the same way, I could die happy._

_Except I wouldn't want to. I want to be with you forever, never let you go. We've had so many wonderful years together, and I want so many more. My whole life has been full of you, ever since we met all those years ago. We've shared everything. When your mother got engaged to be married again, you ran straight to me to tell me. When she got pregnant with Aryll, you did the same thing, and you skinned your knee on the way over. I patched you up, all the while listening to you tell me how excited you were to be a big brother, and you didn't care if it was going to be a boy or girl. So when my own mother told me she was going to have Sidon, I went straight to you too and you shared in my excitement. You helped me put myself back together when the birth was too difficult and I lost her, because you knew what it was like to lose a parent. You've encouraged everything I've ever wanted to do, even when I wasn't sure I was up to the challenge. You make me my favorite foods whenever you can, you even get up early sometimes (you, the person who loves to sleep in!) to buy things for me to surprise me with at school, just because you like seeing me happy._

_And that's what you do, more than anything. You make me happy. I don't know if any of this means that you feel the exact same way that I do, but it's important to me all the same. You have such a warm, kind heart, and its why mine belongs to you. I love you._

_I haven't decided if I'll give this to you or not. I'll at least wait till we're back home if I do, it would be awkward to do so with everyone else around. I suppose I could've waited to write it, too, but the words were ready to burst out of me and I needed to get them down on paper before too much longer. I hope it will be a welcome gift, if I do decide to let you see it._

_With all the love in my heart,  
Mipha_


	3. letter 3 (Mipha, to Link)

_I don't know how to start this. Which is a little bit silly, I guess, because it's not the first time I've written this sort of letter to you. Not that you would know that, since I made the mistake of leaving the first one in my room back at the lake house. So stupid of me! And it's been so long since that trip that I don't really remember everything that I wrote, so I can't rewrite it from memory, at least not completely._

_Although that might be for the best. I wrote some pretty embarrassing things in it, after all. I remember that much. Thank the Goddess I always lock my drawers when we leave, so no one else will find it and know my private thoughts about you._

_I don't mind saying some stuff in it again, however. I know I wrote that I love you, and I still do. I always will. It's been several weeks since I wrote it, and the summer is drawing to a close, but that's not enough time for my feelings for you to fade. A hundred years wouldn't be enough for that. If anything, I only feel more strongly for you than I did when I wrote it, and I didn't think that possible. But you continue to hold my heart with every day that passes, with everything you do, with every moment we spend with each other. We'll have less time together when school starts up again next week, but for now I want to make every minute count._

_I do have to ask, though—do you know what that flower means, the one you picked from your mother's garden the other day and stuck into my necklace? With that heart-stopping smile on your face, no less. Do you know about where it's said to have originated? If not, I'll tell you. It's an old legend about a heart-shaped pond, called Lover's Pond, and it's said that that the goddess first planted blue nightshade there, so that its soft glow could illuminate the faces of fated lovers who met there by night. I don't know if that's really true, but it's always sounded so romantic. To have you give me that, so innocently... you can't begin to imagine how that made me feel. How it makes me wonder what you know, and if you were trying to tell me something. I'm probably imagining things, but it's lovely to think about all the same. I hope you'll say I'm not alone in feeling this way._

_If I give you this letter, I'm not sure how to present it. Do I send it in an envelope with a stamp, and wait in agony for your acknowledgment? Or do I hand it to you in person, and watch you read it as I panic over what your reaction will be? I honestly don't know what's scarier. I don't know if I have the nerve yet to make my feelings clear._

_To you, anyway. I don't think I've been so good at hiding them from others, as much as I've tried. I think Father suspects something, from little things he's said and expressions I see on his face at dinner. He hasn't outright said anything, though, or asked me what's going on. I can't say if I'm relieved or not—as awkward as it would be to discuss my feelings for you with him, it's hard not knowing if that's why he hasn't said anything, or if he disapproves. He's always liked you so much, though, and encouraged our friendship, so I don't think he'd be all that opposed to it. At least, I hope not._

_But he's not the only one who's seen through me. Just yesterday, Riju and Medli ~~confronted~~ approached me about it. Confronted sounds like such a harsh word, that's not quite right. They'd strongly suspected me of being in love with you, and wanted confirmation. What could I do but tell them? After I'd sworn them to secrecy, of course. I also asked if they knew about your feelings, if they had any suspicions, or had talked to you about such things, even teasingly. They said they didn't, and that they would never say anything to you about this. Medli said it's something that you need to hear from me first, and I have to agree. I don't want you to hear that I love you from anyone but me._

_They did have their concerns about that, though. Riju asked me why I haven't told you yet, and I didn't have an answer for her. Medli thinks I'm waiting for you to notice my feelings before I say anything, and maybe she's right. I don't know. It sounds a little bit reckless, and that isn't like me. But I do have to admit that it's also a little bit exciting. Scary, yes, but also exciting. I won't deny that I've been thinking about it since she said it, entertaining little fantasies of you suddenly realizing how I feel just by looking at me one day, or from something I let slip, and asking me if it's true. And then I say yes, it is, I love you, Link. Which is when you tell me that you love me too, and take me in your arms and kiss me. It sounds ridiculous when I put it down in writing, but I swear it plays out beautifully in my head._

_~~I have so many fantasies about you. About us.~~ (Oh, I hope you can't tell what that said! Don't you dare try!)_

_I know what this all must sound like. I know I sound like a silly girl lost in her own dreams. But I can't help it. It's what you do to me, without even trying. Without even realizing. One look from you and I feel my breath catch and my knees wobble; one brush of your fingertips and I melt. You do things for me simply out of a desire to see me happy, to make me smile, and I'm sunk. If I'm doomed to this, then I welcome it, because I can't imagine not loving you. I don't want to imagine not loving you. It doesn't seem like something that could've happened, though. This feeling was always going to be here in my heart, no matter what, because of who you are. _

_You're Link._

_My dearest love._

_I want to tell you soon, and I hope I can. Whether it's through this letter, or whether I say the words aloud, I pray for the courage to make my feelings known to you before too long. Only time will tell if I can._

_Until then I will write it here, to wait for you, and whisper it to myself when I'm alone._

_I love you, Link._


	4. letter 4 (Mipha, to Link)

_What did I do?_

_Link, please. Tell me what I did wrong. I don't understand. Why are you doing this? Why won't you talk to me?_

_I keep replaying that morning in my head over and over, trying to pinpoint what on earth I could've done. Where I went wrong. You got up early again, to buy me a special treat for the first day back to school. You smiled at me when you presented it, and even though it was something you'd done so many times, I hugged you after saying thanks. I smiled up at you, feeling so full of love I thought I might burst._

_And that's when it all seems to have fallen apart. Something changed in your face—your smile faltered and your eyes... I don't know how to describe it. I asked you what was wrong, and you brushed it off as nothing, and hurried off to your first class, claiming to be running late. I thought it was strange, but I tried not to read too much into it._

_But it was the beginning of everything. Everything that I don't understand. Since that day, I've hardly seen you. You don't talk to me unless I approach you, and even then you're so closed off that I can't read a thing in your face, your voice. You make excuses to leave as quickly as you can, and you don't call or invite me over or... anything. You barely even look at me. I see more of your back than your face, when I see you at all. It's been almost three weeks of this, and I_

_(Please excuse the water stains. I was a bit clumsy with my glass.)_

_Link, I don't... I don't understand this. I don't understand you. Not anymore, not right now. We've known each other almost our whole lives, and I thought I knew you so well. As well as I know myself. But you've made it clear that I was deeply, painfully wrong. I don't know anything right now, and it's_

_I don't know what to say. I don't know how I can reach you. I keep trying, but you keep pushing me away. Why? Won't you please help me understand? Please tell me what I did wrong. Did I make you angry? Did I do something to offend you without realizing it? Did I_

_~~Did you~~ ~~Could you tell that I~~_

_No. I can't bring myself to write down what just occurred to me. If I let myself think that horrible thought, then I'm lost._

_Talk to me, Link. Please. Tell me the truth. I need to hear it. I can't bear this silence._

_Please, I_


	5. letter 5 (Link, to Mipha)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your comments! They help keep me motivated to keep posting this, and I adore reading each one. Especially when I get to revel in the angst I'm causing, but then, I'm evil like that.

_I've started making something for you._

_It's... well, I guess it's for a few reasons, one of which is to express my feelings in a more concrete way, but also to serve as proof of them. I figure I'll have been gone so long by the time I give it to you that you probably won't believe me when I finally say “I love you”, but I can point to this and say, listen to it, I wouldn't have done this if I didn't really care. Because I want you to believe me that I do really feel this way. I'd hate for you to feel like I was playing a prank to hurt you. I'd never do that._

_Anyway, since I'm not going to show you this, I'll say what the gift is. Can't ruin the surprise that way. It's a mixtape. I know, I know, it's corny and old-fashioned. But I thought, maybe it's just corny and old-fashioned enough that it'll loop back around to being cute? I don't know. I hope so. I found some old tapes and a recorder when Mom sent me to the attic yesterday to find some holiday decorations and it just... inspired me, I guess. So I started in on it. I've already got a good portion of the first side finished. But the weekend is over, so I'll need more time._

_I'm putting all these cheesy love songs on it, of course. I'm picky about which ones I like, but I've got quite a few in mind already, so it won't be too bad, I don't think. And in between some of the songs, I've got some poetry that I wrote for you. About you. They're probably all horrible, and I cringe at what you might think, but I want to keep them on there anyway. Because they came from my heart, and above all I want you to know what's in there for you._

_As scary as it is thinking about presenting you with this thing, at the same time I sometimes get impatient to tell you already. Why? I'm not sure, honestly. Maybe it's because I'm hoping that you feel the same way? That I could tell you I love you and you'd say it back, and it'd be a new beginning for us? Yeah, probably. I lie awake a lot of nights when I should be sleeping, thinking about that. Thinking about you. I miss you so much it's a constant ache. I wish I could see your smile, hear your laugh. Just hold you. I need you, Mipha. More than you know. And as soon as I finish this thing, I'm going to tell you._

_I hope I'm not making a mistake._

_With more love than I know what to do with,  
Link_


	6. letter 6 (Mipha, to Link)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, all my love to those of you still here and commenting! Your support means the world to me!

_I miss you._

_Can you tell? Do you have any idea? Has it occurred to you at all how much this hurts me? I try so hard to be brave, to not show my pain, even on those rare occasions that we exchange a few words, but I'm sure something must slip through and show in my eyes when I look at you. You only let your own eyes linger on me for mere seconds, of course, so it seems more than a little unlikely, but still, I wonder. Do you see something in those moments that pushes you further away from me? I hate to think so, but at this point I cannot help it._

_I've been encouraged to write you a letter to express my feelings about all this, as a way to try to get through to you when simply speaking won't. I said I might try, but I made no promises about actually giving it to you. I must confess I'm not sure I see a point in that. After all, I don't know you anymore. I don't know if you would actually read it, or just throw it away, the way you're throwing me away. All these years of friendship, of caring, of being so much to each other, they don't seem to matter to you anymore. And it kills me inside, but I must accept reality, I suppose. I must learn to accept all these unimaginable things. I've spent so many years of my life regarding you as my friend and my knight, always ready to defend me when I needed it, even throwing yourself in harm's way to ensure my safety. I'm not used to you being the one that hurts me. I never thought you could be. We've had disagreements, certainly, but you've never done anything outright hurtful before. Can it really be that you don't care about me anymore? I hate to think so, but after nearly two months of this treatment, it seems more and more to be the case, much as I don't want to believe it._

_Riju and Medli are furious with you. Not just because you've been avoiding them too, but also largely because of the pain you're causing me. They would have confronted you about it already if I hadn't begged them not to. I know I don't have the right to ask them not to settle their own grievances with you, but I also know that their anger on my behalf would slip out somehow, and I don't think they should have to fight my battles for me. They were resistant, but eventually agreed. _

_And then they held me while I sobbed my eyes out over you._

_Why am I telling you this? Do I still expect you to care? I don't know. Do I still hope that you will? Yes. Despite everything, yes. Despite how dangerous it feels to still have hope, I can't help but cling to it. I keep praying that one of these days you'll come back to me and make things right. I don't know what I'll do if you don't._

_Please, Link. Please._

_I love you so much._

_Please don't break my heart._


	7. letter 7 (Mipha, to Link)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so we reach the final letter! I just want to pause to say my most heartfelt thanks to all of you for supporting this little side story as well, it was a lot of fun to write and I treasure all your comments on it. <3

_I suppose I could put this in my diary, but... somehow it feels right to address it to you instead, even if you never see it._

_Where do I begin, though? All through this night, I haven't had any idea what to make of your behavior. More than usual, I mean. You've confused me for weeks, but even more so tonight._

_First you came to see me at swim practice, but didn't stay to talk to me. I only know you were there because Riju and Medli saw you, and they told me afterwards. They refused to give me any details of what you might have said, though, insisting that you and I need to talk to each other instead of going through them or anyone else. It was incredibly frustrating, to be honest, because they know better than anyone how many times I've tried to talk to you, only to be brushed off again and again. They seemed to think there was suddenly hope of things going differently, which I didn't understand at all. I finally just left before they could see me cry again._

_I almost didn't go to the party, as unbelievable as that is to think about now. I wasn't sure if I could bear to face anyone, upset as I was. But I thought about it as I rode, and I decided that I could bear even less another night alone at home, crying over you and trying to hide it from everyone. Especially Sidon, I don't wish to worry him anymore, he's far too young to be fretting over his sister so. Apparently he yelled at Aryll yesterday over how you've been acting? I will have to apologize to her when I see her next, as that was uncalled-for. I told Sidon as much too—that while it is sweet of him to care about me, I don't want him doing that sort of thing, especially to poor Aryll. She has nothing to do with your behavior, and has only been kind to me when I've seen her._

_I didn't expect to see you at the party. I'm not the only one you've been avoiding, after all, and you've never liked big gatherings anyway. Neither do I, normally, but I needed a distraction from my sorrow and it seemed as good an option as any. If nothing else, it would prevent me from dwelling on my unhappy thoughts and fears, the way I am apt to do alone in my room._

_But then I did see you there. You had your back to me, and you were wearing a costume for the holiday, but I would recognize you anywhere, regardless of your attire. And when I gathered up the courage to speak to you, I saw a small spark of the old you. It was... breathtaking, and I didn't know what to make of it. For a moment I felt such hope, and I decided to ask you to come along to the graveyard, thinking that on the way there I could ask you about your presence at my practice. The moment faded, however, and you reverted to the cold, distant person you've been since school started._

_I was ready to give up on you at that point. To start letting go, painful as I knew it would be. No, not just painful... devastating._

_I didn't really want to go after that. Distraction or not, I'd had enough, and wanted to just be alone at home where I could mourn the loss of all we'd once had. The fact that Revali decided to insert himself into the group (I heard from Medli later that he basically bullied Yunobo and Komali into inviting him) made it even worse. Even with how you've been treating me lately, I still cannot stand him because of the cruel things I've heard him say to you. When Riju and Medli told me they'd heard he wanted to ask me out tonight, I felt... how do I even put it? I would never have said yes to him, let me just say that. But in the wake of you pulling away again, I had the awful impulse to go with them all anyway, just to see how you'd react, despite that I couldn't bear to look at you just then for fear of the coldness I'd see there. It's a shameful thing to admit, but I was in so much pain I wasn't thinking straight._

_And then you surprised me twice more. First by showing up at the cemetery, behaving so strangely I couldn't tell what on earth was going on with you. I lost sight of you when the gravedigger showed up, and then..._

_That's when I found the second surprise: the tape. The tape that could not have been more clearly labeled as being for me, from you. It turned all that I thought I knew upside down, for why would you make such a thing for me if you truly did not care about me anymore? Not only that, but what could possibly be on it? Of course I do know why people typically make such things, but the thought of you doing that for me, particularly after these awful two months... my head has been spinning ever since. I only stopped thinking about it when you were in such danger, and I thought I might lose you forever. I'm still shaking, and if I think too much about those horrible moments I know I'll start to weep again. I can't lose you, I just can't. That would truly destroy me. But by the grace of the Goddess, I didn't. You're safe. And you... _

_Whoever that cold, awful person was that went into the water... he's gone. You came back to me. Sitting there, in that hospital bed, you were yourself again somehow. I admit, if I hadn't been so overwhelmed with emotion over you nearly dying, I don't know if I would've had the courage to embrace you. Even as I did it I feared you would push me away, despite that you were already beginning to behave like the Link I know. The Link I fell in love with. _

_But you held me. You even pulled me closer, and apologized for frightening me while stroking my head to comfort me the way you've done for years whenever I've been sad. I... when I started crying again, it was at least partly because you'd done that, after so long apart from each other. And then you wiped away my tears. You touched me so gently, and never once glanced away. You looked right at me, with your eyes full of_

_I don't want to write out what I think I saw there, just in case I'm wrong. But oh, I don't think I am. I have so much hope now, more than I've ever dared to have. It's why I felt able to take your hand. Which you didn't fight either. You kept holding it, and took mine before I left. You even smiled at me! Oh, Link. In a matter of minutes, you restored all my faith in you, and then some. I cannot wait for tomorrow, as I feel more confident than ever that I'll receive all the answers I've needed. _

_Tomorrow... I will finally tell you everything._

_Until then I bid you goodnight, my love._


End file.
